Adoption Options ...

There are many different options when it comes to adoption. Private/agency/local/international/open/closed/etc. The list goes on and on. When we decided to start our journey we knew we wanted a baby....and that's all we knew. Through searching and researching we came to where we are today. We wanted to highlight a few of the options out there for those that may be considering adoption but don't know where to begin.

Now before getting started we must preface this with letting you know that no one way is the right way. You must sit down, pray and discuss what the best option is for you spiritually, financially and logically for your family.

Department of Social Services (DSS):
 Adoption through your local DSS is most likely the least cost monetarily, it does require a significant time commitment in the beginning. In our particular county we were required to take 30 hours of foster/adoption classes. In this class they cover a TON of information that is very helpful in handling situations emotionally and psychologically with adopted children as well as foster children. After the classes we got our background checks ($10ea) and each had to go and get a physical. From there your assigned social worker does all the necessary paperwork to get you into the system and on the waiting list. Now before going into this you need to know a few things. You are able to choose at the end of the class if you would like to be processed as foster only, foster to adopt or adopt only. We are on the adopt only list. Now with that being said, things can take a little longer if you are not wanting to foster. It is amazing how many people there are out there with the call to foster. We just do not happen to be those people. Yes, we have a heart for children and yes we want to help but we have not been called at this time to foster. Either option you choose is right for you! There are many details that go along with the foster to adopt process and many things that can go right, and many things that can go wrong as with anything in life. We will be having a guest writer post soon about their experience through the foster to adopt system. For more information about the details in your county contact your local DSS. :)

Agencies:
We did not know going into adoption that there was any other option than through an agency. Costs average about $30k. There are no guarantees as with going privately or fostering to adopt, you (in majority of cases) will not get any money back if the birth mom changes her mind as with going privately, there is more paperwork when working with an agency and more hoops to jump through. We personally did not feel right applying for loans and grants to go domestic when there are so many out there who felt called to go international and could use those loans and grants for there costs. Now do not take this the wrong way. We do NOT feel that agencies are a bad option. We feel FOR US and our personal beliefs that it is not the best choice. Feel free to ask us if you are wondering why this is so and we would love to share that with you. Just do your research on multiple agencies before choosing one. We have friends that are in the middle of their adoption Internationally. Take a minute to read their story http://apieceofthepyles.wordpress.com/about-our-adoption/ 

Private:
We chose to go through private adoption. What does this mean. Basically we find someone who knows someone who is pregnant and looking to go through adoption to give their baby a loving home and future. When this happens you hire an attorney (or 2 depending on the state) and they handle all of your paperwork and hearings and money and all that good stuff. You will still need to get a homestudy so they have that on file. Costs for private adoptions vary depending on the state the child is coming from, where you live, if they have insurance that covers the maternity, etc. Usually what we have found would be an estimate of $8k-$20k. Like I said, every situation is going to have a different cost associated with it. We will be expanding more about our journey through private adoption in upcoming posts.

With all option listed above you have no guarantees and no promises. What you can have is hope and faith. Its amazing when you decide to take that step of Faith how God blesses you and your journey. He doesnt call the qualified, just asks that we are willing. Will you be willing? Will you take that step of Faith? We would love to join you in your journey. Like I said before we don't have all the answers but we sure have learned a lot. We hope this helps someone out there! 

~Adam & Amanda

Adam's Vision & Call to Adopt

In 1997, when I was 12 I went on a missions trip to Nicaragua, and spent 7-8 days in and around the capital and surrounding city's. My heart broke for others in a way I had never experienced before. I'm sure at that point I said in my heart that I wish I could do something for everyone of the children I met on that trip (roughly 100) but I didn't make any distinction in my life about adoption.

In 2003 I met Jesus in a way that was new and fresh and extremely personal. This picture is the third page of a journal entry in my Bible from camp that year. It’s dated "July 2003", this point in my life was full of pain and regret...I came to camp to be a counselor but I felt like I was broken... That I was unworthy that I couldn't be used. The beginning of the camp week was preparation for the counselors... Almost all worship and Word.

During one of the worship sessions after I had my encounter and felt renewed I felt The Lord telling me that a child, not directly from my body would need to be loved like He loved me. That I would hold him and hug him and love him as my own. 

This vision seemed at the time to just fit into everything that was going on in my spirit but I had no idea how or when this would happen... This journey has reminded me that God does not forget and He has laid out a plan for our life and we are privileged to be led by such a loving Father.

~Adam

A Call to Adopt

There was never a definitive moment in our relationship where we sat down and discussed if we should adopt. We had the conversation most normal dating/engaged couples do. How many kids do you want to have? Seems that it always comes up in conversation. Our conversation was similar but went in the direction on  both sides that we would both like to have some and adopt some. It was never a question of IF but WHEN we would adopt.

Adoption is in both of our immediate families. It is a norm. Not a foreign idea. I say this because this 'norm' that is a part of our families has only recently stretched my mind to a place I have never known. (which i will go into more detail later)

'A Call to Adopt'
I never realized it was a call until October of 2012. At this time I had been off of birth control for 2.5 years. I am 28 days regular and always have been. I had counted days and had done all those funny things they tell you to do. I am now a firm believer that getting pregnant has nothing to do with our timing and our tricks and our calendars but everything to do with God's timing and God's calendar. I am still off of birth control and we fully leave everything in His hands.

I tread lightly with the words I am about to use. I do not want to cause offense, judgement or confusion. I will try and explain my feelings in a way that can be understood but sometimes trying to explain what your heart feels can be tough. This will be news to many and only a handful of people know this about me.

 I have never had a desire to be pregnant.

Now for me to explain. Please do not take this the wrong way. We are not adopting because I don't want to be pregnant. I am not fearful of being pregnant, the process, the side effects. I am not against being pregnant, I am all for receiving that blessing if and when that is God's plan. For the longest time i felt that something was wrong with me because of my lack of desire. This feeling of not having the desire that soooo many women have. I struggled every month like most women do trying to conceive. With that hope that those magic lines would show up on the pregnancy test every month. But I had mixed emotions...because on the other end of that the desire wasn't there. Talk about a roller coaster every month! You know what they say, once people adopt they usually get pregnant. Yeah, we have heard haha.

October 2012 was when we decided to quit counting, quit tracking quit worrying and wondering what was going to happen. We always thought we wanted to have kids and adopt kids. In that order. And in 2012 we realized that wasn't the case. Literally, as soon as we made the decision, an overwhelming PEACE surrounded me. Like that feeling of knowing when you are doing something right. That feeling has never left. This my friends is why we know we have been called to adopt. This journey may not be the normal route but it is the natural route for us. Our Call is to Adopt. This call does not mean we will not have biological children, because we do plan on having them. We just know alongside that we are meant to give children the opportunity of an amazing future and loving home they may not have otherwise been given if it weren't for adoption.

Thank you again and always for sharing in this journey with us. Thank you for listening to our hearts.

Throughout our posts we will be answering questions that many of you may be wondering. We hope to help those looking into adoption and wondering where to begin. We are not experts but I think we can help! Please ask any questions you may have by commenting.

Blessings,

~Amanda

Let's Start at the Start

We are very excited to share this journey that started on January 28, 2004 at Jason's Deli in Huntersville, NC. This was our very first lunch, not a 'date', but a lunch that turned into a dinner that turned into a moment that would forever change our lives. Now, you may be asking "What in the world does this have to do with your adoption?". You see we believe everything happens for a reason. God's timing is ALWAYS perfect and He knows just what He is doing when He does it. So our journey together, orchestrated by the good Lord above, has everything to do with our decision to choose adoption. 

This blog will be a chance to for you to get to know us, to connect with us, laugh with us, cry with us, share in your struggles and victories with us, and to join us in this journey. From the 

very beginning. No, we wont go through every date we went on or every conversation we had but we will outline how God placed adoption on our heart and the steps we have have taken to get where we are today, connected with our birth mom, awaiting the arrival of our lil one in July. 

Our hopes are to encourage those going through what we have been through, shine a little light for those in dark place and to share our journey of patience in knowing all things are possible. 

Welcome to our crazy life and our journey that goes against the norm. 

Adam & Amanda